How do! My name is Lonnie Ray an my callsign is KE8MPT. When i git on 80 sometimes i say, "Kant Eat 8 Mashed Po Taters." That's what for my frends calls me "Tater" but i like to go by L.R. We live in Ohio an evry nite i git on the air an talk to my frends on the N'BRED Net on 3.865

Also on the net is my frend Junior, KL7TTC. He lives acrost the river in Kentucky. He got his KL7 call when he was in Alaxa werkin' cornstruckshun. We always laff when peoples werk him on 80 meters an they reckon he be in Alaxa. He don't tell them otherwise nohow an he gits lotsa QSL cards. Junior says, "i not portible 4 on account my trailer is on blocks an its my assigned Kentucky call." Junior's a good ol' boy and a hoot. He the one that told me about the music band "N'SYNC" and that its a all boy music band. So that when we both comes up with N'BRED for the all good ol' boy band. Damn, when he wants to, me an him can come up with sum reel gud idears. We call him Junior cuz he's the youngest one in the net not becuz his daddy's name. I don't even think he know his daddy. He lives with his sister.

We also git joined by KI4MD in Tennessee. He goes by "Mad Dawg" on account his callsign but we jest calls him "Dawg" for short. I don't knows his reel name. He can shur talk. I can go get a beer and come back to the rig and he never knows i left cuz he's still talkin about sumthin.


Nuther member of the net is N0CDV, I think. He don't use no foneticks so i not reel shur of his call. He always say it reel fast too. Sometimes it souns like CDB or ZDG or sumpin else. Ennyway, we jest calls him "Squirrel" cuz when he's six packin' he's plum nuts. Squirrel lives in southurn Missouri sumplace.

Then we gots DuWayne, N5DRT, "Dodge Ram Truck." He even put one of those Mud Flap Girl silver thingy on his shack wall. DuWayne don't have no dodge ram but he be wantin one reel bad. He got some roters, tower seckshuns, an sum 2 meter rigs to trade if sumbody be wantin to make a deal. He alway tradin and makin deals so don't say nobody din't warn you. He once got a D-104 for a Mosley. He says he don't reely needs a car on account he kin walk to the gas stashun fer dem there smokes n' beer. His mamma done always brings home groceries an he fixes lawn mowers rite fine at home so he don't need no ride to werk or nothin. He always be sayin' "Why git marryed if i gots ma to take care uv me?" He shur gots dat right! He be stayin in north Arkansas not to far frum Squirrel.

We talk bout lotsa stuff on the air. DuWayne knows lots stuff about radios. He said he learntd it back in the 70's when he was werking on his Royce. His call was KAGG 2796. (He says KA Double Gee 2796) He said he never used it on the air cuz he had a linyeer amp thet was ileegle. So when we gots a radio problem we try to dexribe our skemanticks to DuWayne an git it fix'd right ther on the air. He's smart cuz he done lop his Penetrator down to 80 meters and it werks like a yung woomin wiff 12 kids an no daddy.

We all gots amps and run full leegle power. That keeps evryone from takin our freekwency. We hate those damn contesters. They always be QRMing an try to take over our freekwency. Squirrel said them contesters jest want to see there name in QST so they gots ego problems but they jest put that contest score in dem back pages cuz that where they belong. Dawg says DXers an contesters are all the same QRMers. That's why none of us belongs to that ARRL. We hate them contesters and show them what QRM is like and how do they like it. I agree an they should jest go to CW and bother each other. Them CW guys think their smarter then everyone else so they can figgur that QRM out.

I gots me a tape that says, "N'BRED Net is on 3.865, please QSY" that i play over and over on stations that git 3 kc above or below our freekwency. DuWayne's got an old key he traded some wire for and tunes up on them. They git reel mad but how do they like that QRM? Since we are all 59 plus plus plus we can talk to each other an show them. We like to talk bout YLs, sex, our naybors, ex wifes, deals DuWayne made, Squirrel's antenna, Junior's sister and other stuff. Sometimes we use dirty words and people try to break in the net. They gits reel mad and tell us they're gonna tell Riley. We say go ahead its our freedum of speech and if they don't like it they can tern the rig off. (Besides, you can't talk about Junior's BITCH sister without cussin', you just can't...we tried once.) When Squirrel gits to drinkin to much he can reelly be funny cussin at them guys. They always be askin for our callsign and we say it all together reel fast without foneticks. It sound kinda like, "WN5E04PCMTVDTT fer ID." It's funnyer then a 3 legged dog on ice.

Sometimes peoples say, "Is the freekwency in use?" and we say nuthin. Then when they says, "CQ contest" we all jump on him. That'll teach them to listen first an see the freekwency is in use and quit tryin to step on us. We like to mock them like Dawg says, "CQ contest" then I say, "59 Ohio" then he says, "Roger, you're 59 Tennessee" then Squirrel and DuWayne and Junior do it. We all do it back and forth for about haff an hour. They damn sure know the freekwency is in use when we done. It's funny cuz we don't live very far apart and got them kilowatts pointed right at each other.

We usually don't git to talk much about reel stuff cuz we're too bizzy cussin out QRMers. It gits late and we git tired after we run everybody off or the contest is over. We usually jest turn off the rig and go watch wrestlin or ESPN if they have one of those tracter pulls or monster truck shows on.

We all met at a hamfest in St Louis once and they laffed at the confedrate flag on my truck window. DuWayne said i was a Ohio Yankee and got no biznis with a confedrate flag. I said shut up you dum hillbilly. It means i'm a rebel.

I gotta go cuz Springer is fixin to start on TV.


Oh, i fergot. Once a guy from Arizona come on our freekwency and said he wanted a "radio check." Squirrel says, "I got mine." Junior says, "I got mine." Dawg says, "I got mine." DuWayne says, "I got mine. Tater, you got yours?" I tried to answer but was laffin to dam hard. That was funny as hell.

Anyway, 80 meters was meant fer ragchewin. We gots nets that go on every nite and we're sick of those dam contesters and DXers takin over. It seems like every weekend there is a contest, Dxpedishun or somethin. Don't tell us to move to the WARC bands. You move. We the ones havin reel QSOs. You jest sayin 59 59 59 59. What the hell kinda QSO is that?


KI4MD "Mad Dawg"
Dawg gettin' ready to make sum tomater soup fer dinner.
He said ketchup an water makes some tomater soup thats good eatin!

N0CDV "Squirrel"
Squirrel havin' breakfast. Seems like everyone's eatin' huh?
Squirrel said he got hurt reel bad in the Gulf War back in the 70's so that why he don't werk.

Squirrel's XYL an famly

That's Squirrel's QTH. Junior took the pichur jest before he left when it was reel purdy an the leeves were changin color.
He wanted to show how Squirrel's antenna can't be seen.
Squirrel calls it the "SS" antenna for "Squirrel's Stealth" antenna.
He says he is gonna make a fortune on it and is keeping it a secret from Tennadyne, MFJ, HyGain and them other big corperashuns.
DuWayne laffs at him and says "SS" is for "Sweepstakes" and he got nuthin but a gol dern contester antenna.
Boy was Squirrel pissed. Its a good thing he don't have no car that werks.

Yep, that's me, L.R. or "Tater," KE8MPT
Hey, I'm eatin an watchin' Springer when Junior took this pichur
I'm in my skivvys so I dint want to make it a big pichur but Junior said I had to include it here.

Junior took this pichur of my XYL. I don't remember when they took it.

KL7TTC "Junior"
This is a pichur i took when Junior's sister kicked him out this summer.
Junior's back with his sister now.
My XYL seemed happy about that fer sum reason.

This is Junior hangin out at Squirrel's QTH this summer after his sister done kicked him out. Squirrel made him git a haircut an made him look deesunt.

This is Junior's sister that done throwed him out this summer.
She is such a bitch i was afraid to take the pichur so i took it when i drove by and she werent lookin.
You've heard of a bitch on crack? Look at the crack on that bitch!
If you look close you can see Junior's trying to make his own Stealth antenna on the side of the house. He says it receives 10 meters ok when the band is open but don't git out to gud. Squirrel said if Junior ever makes money off it he'll sue him fer everything he has.

N5DRT "Dodge Ram Truck"
This is DuWayne, the smartest guy i know
He'll trade with you and make all kinds of deals.
Like this here deal on ebay: 3062228202

If you ain't doin what we're doin then you're wrong. Amatyur radio ain't got no room fer DXers, contesters, paper chasers, SSTV, RTTY, or any of that other weird stuff.


You can email the N'BRED net or L.R. at ke8mpt@yahoo.com if you want to acks me sumpin or send me a gurlie pichur.
Don't email me if your one of them there contesters or DXers or sumpthin like that! I heer enuff of yur QRM on the air.

Ansers to yur stupid questions: N'BRED Mailbag

I also gots me one of them Facebook pages if you want to search for "Lonnie Ray" there and you'll see me.


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