DX Cops are self-appointed enforcers of amateur radio. These "Barney Fifes" of the airways are mostly well meaning, bumbling fools. They've got a license to operate, but they'll never show their ID. They believe they are on the air ensuring the smooth operation of the DX frequency. They are there to direct traffic and keep the frequency clear of Lids, ensuring the DX goes to "the deserving."
When some unfortunate operator forgets to hit his split button, you can be sure the DX Cops will quickly remind him with a friendly, "Up, Up, Up!!!" Of course, some ops don't get it right away so they need more stern language and discipline enforced. "Go read your manual and learn how to use the split button on your rig!" "What part of "Up" do you not understand?"
The DX Cops really crack down on the intentional QRMers. They will perform a "Rodney King Video" version on the radio to these tuners, whistlers, etc. "Up, Up, Up!!! What's wrong with you, you stupid Lid? See this is what happens when they let everyone get a ham license. Those no coders! Geeeez....Get off the frequency! This is ridiculous!" Sometimes they will throw in obscenties for added emphasis.
Sometimes the DX Cops feel they need to go undercover so they will assume the DX station's callsign and give the offending station a "59." This is a great trick for getting the offenders off frequency.
Many of the DX Cops don't need to work the DX. They've already done it. They need to put their expertise to use to determine who is "the deserving" and help them however they can. Whenever a good pileup can be found, the DX Cops will sit on the DX station's frequency with no intention of working the DX; they are just there to direct traffic. The Cops will never give you their ID, but sometimes you get a hint as they say such things to their partners such as, "Hey Ralph!" "Hey John!" "Can you believe this crap?" Some of these DX Cops like to leave their VOX open so you can hear every cough, chair squeak, paper rustle, pencil tap, etc just to remind you that they are there and monitoring. Roscoe P. Coltrane would be proud.
Not all of the DX Cops job is law enforcement. Sometimes they are just there to help and give directions. "Who is the DX?" They are ready to answer. "Where is he listening?" They are there with a friendly reply. "Who is the manager?" They have the answer ready for you. Especially when a station goes QRT or QSY they are there to repeat everything the DX station said. "Gentlemen, he said he was having a thunderstorm and was going QRT." "Gentlemen, he said he was going to QSY to 80 meters and work Europe. He will be back here on this frequency tomorrow at 1800 UTC." Many ops find these cops helpful and ask them all sorts of questions. The DX Cops appreciate this because it makes them feel like they are providing a real service.
The DX Cops are experts in DX. This is why they have appointed themselves as the DX Deputies of the Frequency Frontier. They have read all the DX books, articles, newsletters. They know that EVERY article says not to get on the DX frequency and transmit. They know EVERY article says not to be a DX Cop. That is for the other guys. You need to leave DX policing to the experts.
If you didn't get the DX because of the QRM, it isn't their fault. It was the tuner uppers, the whistlers, and the guys who can't go split. The DX Cop tried to help you so if you didn't get through, it just wasn't meant to be. It isn't easy being Buford T. Justice! After all, imagine what a mess the frequency would be without the DX Cop enforcing the law!!!!
So.....here is a big "Dragnet," Sgt Friday salute to the DX COP. Thank you to the men who serve our amateur radio community. The thankless hours you spend looking at the DX cluster, finding that pileup, and sitting in front of the rig directing traffic, in spite of all you have read and heard not to do, is hereby recognized by the ham community: